That’s word for word from the advertisements that are currently on TV here in the D.C. area. Never mind that there is no legislation currently pending in Congress to tighten gun control laws. On the contrary, recent legislation allowing people to enter some national parks with guns and pending legislation that allows people to cross state lines carrying concealed weapons indicates that they’re trending the other way!

And never mind that the Supreme Court’s recent rulings have favored gun advocates over gun control supporters. The impending confirmation of Judge Sotomayor to the court won’t really have a substantial effect on the court in this regard because we’re just replacing one left-leaning justice with another.

No, it’s time to scare the people into rushing out and purchasing all the firearms they can so they can shoot the armored plated deer wandering into their backyards or whatever. And let’s use the second amendment to justify this. And let’s just conveniently ignore the first four words of it (which are “A well regulated militia”; is there any well regulated militia here? I don’t see it.).

I know the majority of inner-city crime committed with firearms are with illegally obtained guns, but really. Having more guns in the world does not make me feel safer. Never knowing which hot-tempered redneck sitting near me and my children may or may not have a concealed firearm is a cause of concern, not comfort. Would allowing students to carry guns to classes really have prevented the Virginia Tech massacre? I don’t think so. And every time I hear of yet another story of someone who has killed him or herself and his or her entire family with a legally purchased and registered gun makes me sick to my stomach, and there have been a lot of those stories in the D.C. area this year. (And I’m being politically correct here; it’s always the husband/father who does this.)

So, Annie, get your gun while you still can. Because you may only have fifty or sixty years left to do so.